The Memoirs of the Illustrious Wench
by Omness
Summary: Wench has been with the Sirius Crew for awhile and both her plans of becoming a High pirate and creating a Floating Harem are going smoothly. However, she decides it's high time to start recording how she will become the Queen of the Seas. This is the diary of how Wench went from simple bar wench to pirate of the Sirius Crew.


**A/N**This was written for a competition by tsukamaete who is doing a Let's Play of the game.

_**Memoirs of the Voluptuous Wench, Ruler of the Sirius and Illustrious Owner of the Floating Harem**_

_I'__ve been on this vessel awhile now and decided that it is high time to start recording the events of how I became a pirate. When I become High Queen of the Seas, I'm sure people will be begging to know how I got there and these memoirs will help those little people understand how they can become as great as me._

_Despite what Eduardo says this is __not a diary__._

_It's an autobiography, and it's sure to be a bestseller one day. Let's begin, shall we?_

Now this is a story all about how. My life got flipped-turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the Queen of the Sirius Crew.

_Uh, maybe that's too copyrighted. Let's try something else._

The day I became a pirate started out as any other day.

_Nope, that's too cliché._

So some Sirius pirates walk into a bar and

_Ugh, that sounds like the start of a bad joke. _

_Screw it, I'll write an awesome beginning later, for now I'll just go with the flow._

It was a slow day at the bar. The only customers that had come in were six handsome men seated in a corner booth. I guessed them to be sailors by the way they were downing their alcohol like there was no tomorrow and their noisy laughter.

I had spent the last hour alternating between getting the men drinks and washing the counter while waiting for my co-worker, who was super late, to show up.

While I was debating whether my employee contract allowed me to leave my customers to fend for themselves, a new patron came in. He was good-looking, with wavy blonde hair and clear blue eyes. The man was also rich, as evidenced by his finely tied cravat and the gold watch sitting in a vest pocket, and finally, he was already drunk.

Despite my misgivings about serving someone who had already had enough to drink, the man had placed money on the counter for a whiskey, and I wasn't one to deny a paying customer.

After the man had swallowed his whiskey, he turned to stare at me, giving me a lecherous slow look up and down. As a beautiful buxom bar wench, I was used to this kind of behavior, and paid no mind to it. That is, until he grabbed me.

The man started yanking me roughly towards him and asking me if I wanted 'a fun night.' As I am not one to dally with drunks, I kindly refused him, several times. Since this did nothing to stop him I did the only sensible thing and slapped him.

Unfortunately, my intentions were not made clear. The sleazeball simply called me 'feisty' and continued to pull me in for a kiss, until he was tapped on the shoulder by a man smiling kindly, his white teeth standing out of a dark-skinned face.

"Would you mind letting go of the lady?" the kind man asked, "It seems you're bothering her."

Mr. skeevy simply shrugged this off and said, "You don't know who I am, no girl would be bothered by my attentions."

The other man, who oddly made me think of a doctor, must have decided that this called for drastic measures. For in the next moment, the hand grabbing me was gone and was instead being held up and behind the scumbag's back while doctor-man's other hand had a tight grip on the slimeball's head.

Doctor-man calmly spoke again, "I suggest once again that you leave the lady alone." Doctor-man stated.

"Why the heck should I listen to you!" The douchebag yelled in response.

Unfazed, doctor-man slammed the douchebag's face into the bar counter. Maybe he's not so doctor-y after all.

"Now will you leave you alone?" My savior asked.

Dirtbag continued to yell, getting quieter and quieter until he finally grumbled, "Fine, fine I'll leave her alone."

Satisfied, doctor-man released the grip he had on the other man. He then turned to me and opened his mouth, but before he could get anything out the slimeball spun around with amazing agility for a drunken man and sucker punched the doctor in the stomach.

Doctor-man recoiled at the punch, letting out an "oomph." Before he could he recover the scumbag laid another punch across his face, knocking him to the floor.

Slimebucket started yelling again. "How DARE you touch me in that manner!" (I resisted the urge to snort) "Do you know who I am? You will pay for that!"

With that, the scuzzbag lifted up his foot with a plan to crush doctor-man's face while he was still on the ground in pain and shock. All I could do was stare in horror as the two-inch heel fell down, down.

_Oops, just a moment. I hear Russell barking for me, and there's no shutting him up until he gets out what he has to say._

_I'm back, turns out Russell was mad because his favorite shirt turned pink in the wash and was blaming me. I told him if he had a problem with the way I did laundry he could do it himself. I thought it was brilliant idea, but he only barked louder. Whatever, it's what he gets for saying I should join the itty-bitty titty committee._

_Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, faces being smashed in._

Before the scumball's foot could carve a new breathing hole for doctor-man, a metal chain went whipping out of nowhere and wrapped around his upright leg. With a strong tug on the chain, the slimebag became unbalanced, falling hard upon his rump.

Sleaze-y let out a long stream of cuss words, but I had no attention to give him. Instead it followed along the chain wrapped around his leg to a tall handsome man wearing a bandana and wielding two sickles connected by that same chain.

This new battle competitor was standing near the table next to the rest of the sailors, who had gone unusually quiet.

"Something the matter Nathan?" A sailor with an eye patch questioned.

"Just dealing with trash." The bandana-man, Nathan, responded.

Scumbag, who had recovered from his fall, grew red as a tomato at these words and started screaming and stomping over to the man who had humiliated him so. As soon as he was right in front of Nathan he went quiet, and looked up into an impassive face that was more than a foot above him, then at the hands holding sharp objects.

"You should go." Nathan stated simply.

Mr. Creep sputtered a bit before turning on his and yelling as he headed out.

On his way out the doorway, he blasted past my replacement, who finally decided to show.

Not wanting to stick around for the after-drama, I left as quickly as I was able.

…..

The next day when I returned to work, the sailors from yesterday were there again, along with my employers.

My employers, a middle-aged couple, confronted me immediately when I entered the bar. Without any preamble they told me I was fired. When I asked why, they told me about how the sleazy customer from yesterday was the son of the mayor and threatened to close the bar down if they didn't do something about me. My mouth dropped in shock

With only a short "I'm sorry." The couple left me alone in the middle of the bar, staring at the floorboards. At that point a boy I recognized as one of the sailors walked by and noticed my teary-eyed face.

"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly, "A girl shouldn't cry."

I denied anything being wrong but the boy insisted. With such a cute in honest face I couldn't keep up the denial for long. So I ended up telling him everything.

I told him how I had lost my job, which I needed to support my family. My father had been dead for several years and my mother needed to stay home to take care of my little brother, making me the bread winner by default. We didn't even have any safety funds to draw on while I searched for a new work. Every coin I had earned went directly into food and clothing for the family along with paying any bills.

After telling him my story the boy's orange brows scrunched up in worry, then quickly smoothed out as his face brightened in excitement.

"I have an idea!" he told me, "Wait here."

Surprised at his sudden exuberance, I obeyed his request and watched him charge over to the table that held his companions. Once there he began to talk animatedly to a man whom I assumed to be the captain due to his magnificent hat. After some discussion at the table, the boy returned with a bright smile.

He told me that his captain said that I could become part of his crew, but I needed to talk to him first. So with reluctant steps, I followed the boy to the table.

Once there, he gestured proudly at me, "Everyone meet, uh," he blushed, turning to me, "What's your name?" he asked shyly.

"Wench." I supplied hesitantly.

With that, the boy's excitement returned. He introduced himself as Thomas and then named of the rest of his friends. There was Nathan, the bandana guy; Eduardo, who was wearing an eye patch; Russell, who stared at me petulantly; Christopher, the guy who helped me yesterday and lastly, Morgan, their captain.

After he was introduced, Morgan asked me if I wanted a job. I confirmed this was true and we started to discuss what my payment and my duties on the ship would be.

When everything seemed to be settled, Morgan learned forward onto the table, his expression suddenly serious, which made me tense.

"If you want to become a part of my crew Wench, there is one thing you must know. We are not ordinary sailors that plough the seas. We are pirates who go by the name of Sirius." At the word pirates, a thrill ran down my spine, even while I had to resist rolling my eyes. Whoever heard of serious pirates? Morgan continued to talk, "If you are to join us, it is entirely possible that a bounty would be placed on your head. Despite that, you will be clothed, fed, and you receive money to send home to your family. You will also be protected; my crew will always help a crewmember in need. Do you still want to take the job?"

I swallowed hard, could I truly become a pirate? "May I have some time to think it over?" I asked.

Morgan nodded, "Of course, if you still wish to join us, meet us at the dock in two days time, we will be setting sail in the morning."

With a nod showing that I understood, I excused myself and headed home with my mind swirling with thoughts of pirates.

When I got home, I told my mother how and why I was fired from my job at the bar. She turned appropriately sympathetic and started making plans on how we could cut corners until I could find me a new one. I didn't tell her about the offer from the Sirius, I didn't want to worry her until I had made a decision. I was still waffling on whether it would be worth joining them or not.

On one hand I would have a job and be paid, not to mention I would get to see the world traveling the seas. On the other hand, I would be working with pirates, who were notorious for being ruthless and bloodthirsty. Though the Sirius didn't seem that way, they even saved me from that man yesterday.

Before I knew it, night had fallen and as I fell asleep a vivid dream came upon me.

I saw myself standing on the prow of a boat, a hat containing a single large feather resting on my head. While I stood staring off into the distance proudly, a group of handsome men were gathered behind me. They were looking adoringly at me and calling me the illustrious Wench and Queen of the seas. On the side of the ship I stood on, burned into the wood, were the words, 'Wench's Floating Harem.'

That morning I woke up refreshed and excited, the image of me being the captain of my own boat stuck in my head. I knew then that I would join the Sirius. If joining the pirates would bring me closer to that dream, then nothing would stop me.

As I headed to breakfast, my mother confronted me carrying a small box filled to the brim with gold coins, enough to money to last us for months!

"Explain to me why this was left at our door." She demanded, while handing me a note that she said came with the box.

The note read,

Dear Wench,

Here is a bonus for considering on joining our crew.

-Sirius

I looked up at my mother with a smile, "It's my new job."

With some explaining, and never mentioning pirates, I convinced my mother to let me join the Sirius crew. It was easier than I thought it would be. She only smiled and said, "I always knew you would go out and take on the world."

I took the rest of the day to pack and say my goodbyes, by the next morning, I was ready to take on the world.

When I reached the dock, Thomas was the first one to see me, greeting me with a hug. "I'm so happy you came! Eduardo kept telling me over and over that you would be too scared to join us."

I smiled at him, though offended at what Eduardo had said. "There's no way I would miss becoming a part of the Sirius crew." I responded with emphasis.

Before we set sail, Thomas reintroduced me to everyone. Even after we left port he continued to be my little helper and showed me around the ship and guided me through my duties.

Even with Thomas's cheerful presence, I become more and more nervous the farther from shore we went. Was I doing the right thing? Could I really become a pirate? Would my mother be okay taking care of my brother by herself?

With these thoughts running through my head, night fell quickly.

When it was fully dark out, Thomas excitedly dragged me onto the deck of the ship.

Not sure what was going on, I prepared for the worst, and received a pleasant surprise.

On the deck was the rest of the crew chattering and laughing happily around a table piled high with food and drink.

"What's all this?" I exclaimed.

Thomas replied immediately, "We're celebrating you becoming a crew member of course!"

He then dragged me over to the table to sit down. As soon as I was comfortable Morgan addressed me with a grin.

"Now Wench, listen carefully," he said, "There are three strict rules you must follow as part of this crew. One, protect your buddy with your life. Two, never let women or children get harmed. And three," He paused, his grin growing wider, "We party till dawn when it's full moon."

After those words the party truly started. Thomas taught me several useful knots, Nathan served Yamato specialties, Eduardo didn't threaten to throw me to the sharks, and even Russell showed interest when me and Thomas started playing a game of cat's cradle with a string he tied together.

It was nearing dawn and the full moon had all but disappeared when the others started to sing. The surety they had in the notes despite their drunkenness told me how familiar it was. The song was oddly comforting to me and made me felt like I belonged, even if I didn't know the words.

It was at that moment that all my doubts and worries melted away. I was confident, without a doubt that the Sirius would become my home.

_That's it on my memoirs for now, I need to go help Nathan prepare food for tonight. We're going to celebrate my one year anniversary of being a part of the crew!_

_Ta-Ta._

_Wench_


End file.
